Scarf

All my memories went missing
so I'm listening again
trying to collect vital childish information

Why doesn't everyone just come to me
arms open wide with shining eyes
that scream "I'm ready"

because some days I want to die
and some days I want to live
and other days I just want.

and those are the worst.

I have not suffered enough to say:
"I have suffered" but it's enough to say this:
I'm ready to have a reason

a reason to die
a reason to live
today it makes no difference

give me a banana
call it dinner and movie
call it a night and drive home

sleep with the lights on
call my doctor and tell him that there is a
malicious virus eating away at my heart

take two pills - the red and white ones -
wake up in the morning
but don't set the alarm

drive a different way to work tomorrow
maybe you'll show up early
maybe no one will notice you're invisible

and if they do, don't blame them
everyone opens their eyes one day
sometimes it's just to light a match

to cast shadows inside of their grave.
other days we call it by it's seasonal name
assured that we will remember details

time and place. ready the hovercraft
set course for any ocean that lacks waves.
sit back, relax, and enjoy the guilty

weightlessness of air. take notes and regurgitate.
pass with flying colors. fold the flag carefully
set in on the mantle above the fireplace.

teach your children to lie in many languages
tell them you don't believe in the internet.
make sure they know the difference between

things that exist and things that don't exist.
make them tell you stories and take notes in
the morning while cooking eggs and pancakes

pouring mugs of orange juice. tell them snow
is beautiful but let them wear a scarf.
remind them to forget what they learned

lying in the dark.